Saturday, March 10, 2007

something to do with longing, prayer...and maybe flunking


This is where you will find me most sunday mornings...trying to pray, sadly I just don't get it....thankfully my late and dear friend did;

'I have always been terrible at praying
I forget
My mind wanders
I fall asleep
I don't pray enough
I don't undersatnd what prayer is
Or what prayer does.

If prayer were school...
I would flunk praying

But prayer isn't school
It is mystery

Maybe the mystery is...
Jesus loves terrible prayers
Maybe...
When I can't think of anything to say, he says what I can't say
When I talk too much, he chersihes my too many words
When I fall asleep, he holds me in his lap and caresses my weary soul
When I am overwhelmed with guilt at my inconsistent, inadequate praying
He whispers, "Your name is always on my lips"

I am filled with gratitude, my soul overflows with thankfulness and I...
I...find myself saying over and over again, "thank you"
Praying the mystery'
(Mike Yaconelli)

Every morning, i take a moment of quiet...and in the stillness i pray this prayer...

'Broken...I now talk with God.
O Lord Jesus my saviour.
Today my heart is empty.
Pride is the thing I will miss least when time comes to and end.
I need a priest.
I need a preacher.
I need an exorcist to banish the snake I've been handling called...self.
I need you.
Broken...I now talk to God.
(Ben Pearson: Taken from Ragamuffin Prayers, CCM Books)

10 comments:

always scared said...

someone else feels like I do...

lost and alone... fighting my way through life, wondering what else can go wrong..

I wonder why i believe in God..but I see no other option...he is all I have to hang on to!!

I like Mike Yacs poem, do you think that its really true? That God really feels like that about us??

bluemountainmama said...

beautiful and humble words...

it's amazing- i DO know the power of prayer and yet i tap into it so little. so......maybe that means i really don't know the power in it. maybe i KNOW in my head, but not in my heart.

i especially relate to mike's words. thank you for sharing these....

Anna said...

This was beautiful.

At times, I feel the same way Paul. Sometimes my mind wanders and I am adding products for my grocery list later in the day. Nice huh? It is easiest for me to pray when my eyes are wide open and I just talk. Crazy I know but I do try to rest in the fact that the Lord knows my struggles and I cannot flunk praying 101. He wants me, just the way He made me...and He loves me fully.

Take heart Paul that your Savior hears you...

Niki said...

Morning you

Get outside; it's gorgeous today. Go to the blue mountains, go to petit bot, go to candie gardens, go to l'ancresse...

Soon as I finish work I'll be out there; sending words out into the loving void.

St. Kevin & the Blackbird said...

There is a raw honesty to this prayer which makes it difficult both to read and to turn away from once you start reading. The only thing I might say in response is: Keep your mind in hell, and despair not.

Awareness said...

A beautiful sanctuary, Paul.

I have tried to write a comment several times and kept getting lost. Mike's words slammed into me when I first read them, because I was struggling yesterday thinking about prayer and trying to write about it myself (my first post was eaten up last night by the blogger monster).

I love Mike's thoughts.......they help me understand.

I love the prayer you choose to say every morning, though I can't imagine I would be able to get through the words without completely losing it.

Pride is the thing I will miss most.....

your post is timely........as always.

Layla said...

it seems many of us can relate to this, thank you for sharing it.

Caroline said...

I love both of these quotes; thank you so much for posting. In Mike Yaconelli's, the part about Jesus' reaction to our feeble prayers is particularly appropriate just now, and all of the "Broken" prayer says what I wish I could, but can't. Thank you so much.

Carmi said...

I guess we're all looking for some help navigating this somewhat chaotic, tumultuous world. If only it were as simple as flipping on a GPS.

The Harbour of Ourselves said...

as pete seeger once sang, we shall overcome some day...

i feel like that about prayer - someday me and that carpenter will walk hand in hand

i have been moved by all the varying comments - some of which will journey with me for some time to come (blackbird!)....

....you know today i realised that even (especially) photographs become prayers....

....however it works for us....let's keep on praying the mystery