Yearning

'He is much fish still and I saw that the hook was in the corner of his mouth and he has kept his mouth tight shut. The punishment of the hook is nothing. The punishment of the hunger, and that he is against something that he does not comprehend, is everything.'
ERNEST HEMINGWAY, The Old Man and the Sea

Our yearning of that which we cannot comprehend, namely the mystery of God, can seem distant from our daily lives, because God's presence is, most of the time, elusive. I suppose it creates a tension between our own doubts and fears and the promises God makes. The maze of human experience if you like.

What would Jesus say? Yac Pt 2

Seems Mike yaconelli's wisdom was more than helpful yesterday, so here's another of his musings for the benefit of your souls. A wonderful man who filled my life with big moments:

Me: "Hey, Jesus!"

Jesus: "Hey."

Me: "I’m a youth worker."

Jesus: "I know. I’m Jesus—remember?"

Me: "Okay. Okay. But...um...why did you make me do youth ministry?"

Jesus: "I didn’t ’make’ you do youth ministry, I called you."

Me: "Yeah, right. Called might as well be the same as made. I mean, you made it so I wouldn’t be happy doing anything else. You ruined all the other options, Jesus."

Jesus: "You’re welcome."

Me: (sigh) "Here’s the deal: If you wanted me to do this youth worker thing, you must think youth ministry is pretty important."

Jesus: "I do."

Me: "Well, how come the adults in church don’t think it’s that important? And have you looked at the pay scale lately? We’re always at the bottom of the priority list."

Jesus: "I can relate to that."

Me: "And all they want me to be is a recreation director. You know...plan nice activities and keep their kids from drinking, doing drugs, and getting pregnant."

Jesus: "They think youth ministry is about making young people nice?"

Me: "Well, yeah. I mean, they think you’re a nice guy and everything—and they want their kids to be like you."

Jesus: "Look, these parents think I’m a nice idea. They think I care about what they care about. They want me to be an enhancement to their lifestyles—and they don’t want me making their kids uncomfortable with their lifestyles. Basically they think I died on a cross to help their kids get good SAT scores, be captains of football teams and cheerleading squads, and have nice lives. They think I want to help their children become good Americans. Yuck!"

Me: "I didn’t think Jesus would say ’Yuck!’"

Jesus: "It’s a Greek word."

Me: "Oh...but aren’t Christians supposed to be nice?"

Jesus: "You think I died on a cross to make people nice? You think I want to be relegated to the status of motivational speaker? Listen, I don’t even like football, and I definitely don’t like nice people. Look at my disciples! Talk about loud, obnoxious, rude, flaky—hey, these guys were anything but nice. Remember when ’Mr. Nice Guy’ John wanted me to send fire down on a little Samaritan village because they wouldn’t let us stay for the night?

"Start telling parents that their sons and daughters should take a year after high school and do missions in South Africa and see how long you last. Tell them it isn’t a good decision to make their kids go to soccer camp instead of church camp and see how supportive they’ll be. Truth is, I came to ruin people’s lives—just like I ruined yours. I came to turn people’s lives upside down. Remember all that stuff I said about being a sword and turning parents against children? I wasn’t kidding."

Me: "But if I let you start ruining kids’ lives, we might lose some of them."

Jesus: "Good."

Me: "How can you say ’good’?! Look, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re really Jesus."

Jesus: "Why?"

Me: "Why? Because everybody knows youth ministry is about reaching as many students as possible. We’ve been trying to reach every student for Christ by the year 2000! I mean, this year we’re going to have rallies and crusades nationwide with more than 100,000 kids at each of them. We’re going to link the entire world by satellite. We’re going to have the largest crowds ever!"

Jesus: "I don’t like crowds."

Me: "You don’t like crowds?!? What are you talking about?!"

Jesus: "I don’t like crowds. Go back and read my story. Yes, I had crowds from time to time, but most of the people in them just wanted more wine, food, and power. Then—when I didn’t give them what they wanted—they killed me. Nope. I don’t like crowds. Besides, my best work was done one on one. You know...the woman at the well, the crazy guy, the blind man, the prostitute. That’s when I did my best stuff."

Me: "But...um...that isn’t very efficient."

Jesus: "I know. I don’t believe in efficiency."

Me: "What?!?"

Jesus: "Let me put it this way. I believe in making disciples one at a time. Very slow stuff."

Me: "But Jesus, I thought you were into ’fast’."

Jesus: "Nope. I’m about slow. And small."

Me: "Oh, man. If I keep listening to you, I’m going to be fired!"

Jesus: "Good for you."

Me: "Good for me?!? Uh, Jesus, it’s not that easy!"

Jesus: "I didn’t say it would be easy. I said it would be hard."

Me: "But hard is...well...hard."

Jesus: "Tell me about it.

I Don't Know

Couldn't sleep, watched the sun come up with endless coffee...decided that I don't know much. read this from my very much missed friend...seems he didn't know much either....maybe that's not such a bad thing after all....maybe

"I Don't Know"
by Mike Yaconelli

Dear youth worker,
Please tell me why God allowed innocent people to be murdered on September 11, 2001?

Answer?

I don’t know.

Where was God?

I don’t know.

When Leslie Weatherhead, a minister in London during the Second World War, was asked by a member in his congregation where God was when his son was killed in a bombing raid, Weatherhead replied, "I guess he was where he was when his son was killed."

And where was that?

I don’t know.

Isn’t "I don’t know" too ambiguous? Isn’t "I don’t know" an unconvincing way to convince young people Christianity is true?

Actually, "I don’t know" confirms one critical truth about Christianity…it’s a mystery!

Jesus loves us, right?

Of course.

So if he loves us, he protects us, right?

If he loves us…he is with us.

Jesus can heal, can’t he? And perform miracles?

Of course. Just not very often.

Why?

I don’t know.

What about God’s will?

My youth director says we’re supposed to seek God’s will. There are lots of verses in the Bible that tell us to do God’s will, aren’t there? God does have a will, right?

Absolutely.

Trouble is God’s will is not like a to-do list. It’s more like an undecipherable code. The Bible definitely gives us some clues about the code of God’s will, which means we can figure out part of it; but, because it’s God, we will never crack the code.

Clues?

Yeah, like, follow me, serve me, love me, live by my commandments, point people to me.

That’s it? Just follow me, serve me, love me and trust me?

That’s about it.

What do you mean "that’s about it?"

You don’t want to know.

Yes I do.

We get a cross.

Cross????? What does that mean?

I don’t know.

But God does heal people, doesn’t he?

Certainly.

And miracles do happen, don’t they.

Right.

So we can count on God helping us, can’t we?

We can count on God being God.

Which means…??

I don’t know.

And what does that mean?

It means we can trust God if we lost someone in the WTC or if they survived.

It means we can trust God when we have cancer and when we’re healed.

We can trust God if we survive a natural disaster or if we don’t.

We can trust God when we get a glimpse of Divine will and when we don’t.

We can trust God in the answers and the questions, in the good and the bad, in the light and the dark, when we’re winning and when we’re losing.

We can trust God even when the Truth doesn’t answer all our questions or leaves us with even more questions.

And, most importantly, just beyond our "I don’t know’s," Jesus is waiting with open arms to snuggle us in the mystery of his love.

Gift?

Have decided this morning as I drink coffee and contemplate life that faith is different from proof (no shit, you might say); the latter is a kind of human thing, the former is a Gift from God. I think i would do well to remember that more...

Idealism

Maybe we should wear our broken hearts and battered idealism not like hard-won honours but open, weeping sores...maybe that unlocks the door that leads to freedom...maybe