Friday, February 17, 2006
It's a feeling not a word
Bob Dylan once wrote that, ‘if today was not an endless highway, if tonight was not a crooked trail, if tomorrow wasn’t such a long time then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all.’ I am surrounded by people, good people, and having some moments with a real prophet of the Almighty, yet I feel lonesome. Can’t really explain it – it’s not a depressing morose feeling, more a yearning for something not yet complete – and just maybe that’s a good place to be, maybe.
Yesterday I listened to Jim Wallis, drank with him and ate supper with some wonderful people from Zero28 here in Belfast. When the Dr and I got home I was struck by the loneliness of ‘the journey’, even when we are surrounded by friends. I think it may be something to do with something Augustine said, that our hearts are restless until they find their rest in God. And you know what, I think the trick, the quirky irony of the Almighty, is that we will never find that rest this side of some better place. I also think there’s goodness in the cruelty. If we do actually find what we’re looking for, then what do we really do with the rest of our day?
In some odd way I think I like the fact that the destination stays just out of reach, it keeps me moving forward rather than standing still and not searching anymore – but I admit it’s nice to sometimes hear the heartbeat of love slightly pounding – the echo of the eternal.