Friday, February 17, 2006

It's a feeling not a word


Bob Dylan once wrote that, ‘if today was not an endless highway, if tonight was not a crooked trail, if tomorrow wasn’t such a long time then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all.’ I am surrounded by people, good people, and having some moments with a real prophet of the Almighty, yet I feel lonesome. Can’t really explain it – it’s not a depressing morose feeling, more a yearning for something not yet complete – and just maybe that’s a good place to be, maybe.

Yesterday I listened to Jim Wallis, drank with him and ate supper with some wonderful people from Zero28 here in Belfast. When the Dr and I got home I was struck by the loneliness of ‘the journey’, even when we are surrounded by friends. I think it may be something to do with something Augustine said, that our hearts are restless until they find their rest in God. And you know what, I think the trick, the quirky irony of the Almighty, is that we will never find that rest this side of some better place. I also think there’s goodness in the cruelty. If we do actually find what we’re looking for, then what do we really do with the rest of our day?

In some odd way I think I like the fact that the destination stays just out of reach, it keeps me moving forward rather than standing still and not searching anymore – but I admit it’s nice to sometimes hear the heartbeat of love slightly pounding – the echo of the eternal.

5 comments:

The Meaning Weakened by the Lies said...

Occassionally, ever so occassionally the words DONKEY and CARROT spring to mind.

Though C.S Lewis did say that loved ones would rather we experienced these 'sufferings' than find a contemptable form of happiness - I would tend to agree.

Rach said...

We met, albeit a number of years ago at an Angel's Weekend - I was working for GB then. (sorry, hate posting on people's blogs I hardly know...feel like I'm intruding...)

Anyway, you just summed things up so well - it's what I've been thinking and struggling with for a while. Here in the USA, where I've been transplanted for the past 16months, in amongst the traditional churches, there's this sense that if you are trully following God then you will *know* peace, and this will be displayed by your circumstances being comfortable.

Thank you for reminding me that this restless feeling is no bad thing. And if none of the above makes much sense, please just take "thanks" from it! :)

The Harbour of Ourselves said...

Please don't apologise, connection is a large factor of me doing this...intrude away

To be honest i am trying to picture you and failing miserably, so my apologies for that.

I take the thank you and thank you for it and as my mate M Joseph says....don't let the bastards get to you

grace and beer

Mark A Savage said...

"Connections". Didn't it just to be a rather peculiar series with that pseudo-scientific guru James Burke on BBC One?
I've happened across your blog, Jersey-dwelling friend, via someone posting on my blog who, in turn, had come to me via Brian Draper's excellent, pithy thoughts at www.youarewhatyoudelete.blogspot.com.
Thanks for your thought-provoking and helpful comments- and thank God for the World Wide Web! I'm sitting here, unemployed, cold and indeed lonesome on a grey afternoon in February, thinking of the Mum I lost around this time last year, but rejoicing that actually, the ship of the soul can only find it's true destination in His H(e)aven.
Thanks for lifting my spirits with some lovely pieces of wisdom. Connections indeed which shout "you are not alone"! Keep up the good work.

The Harbour of Ourselves said...

Mark

Thank you so so much - what you have said has made a couple of months ramblings worth while - if we lose connection we lose everything. grace my friend, grace and beer

ps - I live in Guernsey, not that other island